A gentle guide
Can I hire someone to write a eulogy?
Yes. Asking for help with the words is not a failure of love. It is often the kindest thing you can do for yourself that week.
In the days after a death there are a hundred things to arrange, and the eulogy often lands on the person with the least time and the heaviest heart. Getting help with writing it is common, and nobody at the service needs to know.
Who writes eulogies for families
- Celebrants and officiants. Many will write and deliver a life story as part of the service, based on a conversation with the family.
- Funeral directors. Some offer writing help, or can recommend someone.
- Independent eulogy writers. They write the speech for you to read yourself, usually from a questionnaire or a call.
- A friend who writes well. Often a good choice, if they knew the person.
What a writer needs from you
A good writer does not invent anything. They shape what you give them. Be ready to share:
- Name, what people called them, and their relationship to you
- Three words that describe them, with a small example for each
- One or two stories you'd like included
- Anything that must not be mentioned
- The tone you want: gentle, warm, a little humour, or faith-based
- How long you have to speak
Will it sound like me?
It should. Ask the writer to use your words and phrases where possible, and read the draft aloud before you accept it. Change anything that doesn't sound like you. A eulogy you are comfortable saying will always land better than a polished one you are not.
How long does it take?
Many writers can deliver within two to three days, which fits the usual time between a death and the funeral. If the service is very soon, say so straight away.
Common questions
Is it wrong to have someone else write a eulogy?
No. Speeches at weddings, funerals and public events are often written with help. What matters is that the memories are yours and the words feel true.
Do I have to read it myself?
No. You can ask a celebrant, friend or relative to read it on your behalf.
What if I want to change it?
Most writers include at least one round of changes. Read it aloud first, then note anything that feels wrong.
How Gentle Tribute works
You answer a few gentle questions about the person, and I write a eulogy of about three to five minutes from your memories. You receive it as PDF and Word within about 48 hours, with one round of changes included.
See how it works Prefer to write it yourself? The step-by-step guide with templates is a small download.