Guides

A gentle guide

How to write a eulogy for a grandparent

Grandparents often hold a whole family's history. You don't have to tell all of it. Tell the part you saw.

When a grandparent dies, the eulogy is often given by a grandchild. You may have known them for twenty years, or forty, but always from one side: as the person who spoiled you, taught you card games or let you stay up late. That view is exactly what the room wants to hear.

Ask the family first

A short phone call to a parent, aunt or uncle can give you details you never knew:

• Where did they grow up, and what was that world like?
• How did they meet their husband or wife?
• What work were they proud of?
• What did they survive or build that the grandchildren might not know about?

Pick one or two of these facts. Then add what only you know.

What grandchildren remember

• The biscuit tin, the garden shed, the chair nobody else sat in
• The phrases they repeated, the jokes they told every Christmas
• The way they said your name
• What they made with their hands: food, furniture, jumpers, gardens

A simple structure

1. Introduce yourself as their grandchild, and say what you called them.
2. A sentence or two about the life they lived before you knew them.
3. One story from your own childhood with them.
4. What they gave the family that will carry on.
5. A goodbye from you, or from all the grandchildren.

Lines you can adapt

• "To most of you she was [name]. To twelve of us, she was simply Nan."
• "Grandad had a story for everything, and we still tell them."
• "Thank you for the Sundays. We'll keep having them for you."

Speaking for all the grandchildren

If you speak on behalf of cousins and siblings, ask each of them for one memory in a single sentence. Reading a few of these short lines together can be one of the most moving parts of a service.